A change of attitude!

I have spent many hours thinking through the potential impact on others due to the publication of this book. Consequently I have taken the time to discuss this with many people, listening to their questions and taking on board their views or concerns. I have many wonderful friends who have been there for me, above and beyond, and their opinions and views are vitally important to me. I will and always have, respect their wishes and will do anything to try and accommodate them. They are respectful and appreciative of the fact that that I have taken the time to speak with them and not gone blindly ahead with no regard for their concerns. My family, who are just as supportive and constantly amaze me with their acceptance, have also had questions, slightly different in content and from a different perspective; valuable none the less. At no time has anyone charged in with completely selfish demands alongside an absolute presumption that I am doing this to damage others. Until this weekend.

I won’t (and never will) deny that at some point my motives for this book were driven by revenge. But only towards those who were responsible, not those on the periphery who were place in a highly unpalatable and distasteful position. I also found writing cathartic, (as was and still is talking!), it made things seem real and put some logic behind them. I have had to go through all the different motives and ensure that the right one is now the primary driver in publishing this book. If it becomes about revenge, then it becomes a tit for tat, there is no purpose and it becomes tabloid fodder. Tasteless and tomorrows chip papers. I am doing this to help others, support them, give them a sense of purpose. My plan is to take it further (later blogs will reveal all!) To me there now is some real value in what I am doing. 18 months ago, probably not.

In summary, (I don’t want to dwell on it) I did someone the courtesy of discussing the publication of my book. Someone I owed nothing to, who in-fact has treated me with disdain throughout the last 2 years. Pretending to be there for someone and then taking it away from them is so much harsher than just being honest in the first place. Instead of doing me the courtesy of discussing any potential issues they had and coming to an agreeable resolution; their immediate presumption was that I was out to hurt them and their family. Made their thoughts very clear in writing with no apology for the aggressive an unnecessary position they had taken.
The reason for mentioning this is simple; 18 months ago I would have been distraught at that action, very upset and would have blamed myself for their reaction to me; now I have moved on (a recurrent theme in the book), I am not inclined to believe their actions are my fault, nor that they are motivated against me. Merely that they are not able to think things through reasonably and logically and are not prepared to think other people are motivated by different things than themselves.

Disappointed, yes : Unexpected, no : Make a difference, not likely!!

Posted by bekidaviesduvet at Monday, January 25, 2010 0 comments
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