Archive for January, 2011

A different Christmas

January 26, 2011

Coming from a wonderfully large family – eldest of 6 girls we have always gone to my mothers’ for our Christmas celebrations. With there now being husbands, grandchildren and dogs it is quite a houseful. During the last couple of years I have taken the same options for key events, reassured that I will have few decisions to make and there is a comfort in knowing how it will all work. However 2010 we decided to do something a little different – we spent it with my son’s godparents.

Not only are they his godparents but they have also been amazingly supportive friends to me too, through all the trauma of the last 2 years. I am indebted to them. I was nervous about being somewhere else for Christmas, but having ensured that Father Christmas knew where we were and that he had to leave presents at Granny and Daddy’s respective houses also, we were set.  I was also extremely lucky that my sons godfather spent some quality boy time on the 24th with my son so I could get my legs waxed (see previous post!), hair cut and nails done! Everything seems so much better after all of that!

Christmas day was lovely. Father Christmas even wrote a letter and left it for my son to read, signing it with “Ho Ho Ho!” which is apparently how you know it is from him, which reassured the whole present whereabouts query. The day was different to previous years, different people and less of them, but the enjoyment and love no less.

And why write about it? – well not everything has to be the same all the time, trying something new or different can be really scary, but sometimes you just might find that a change is just as great and boosts your confidence that you can do something a bit different!

This picture was taken at the end of the Christmas day, it stars my son and his ever companion, Humphrey. They did not even make it up the stairs! A true sign that a wonderful time was had by all!

Lessons learnt Jan 2011!

January 24, 2011

I’ve been way too philosophical in my ramblings these last couple of blogs, so time for some humour (philosophical of course) I think. Lessons my son has learnt in the month of January 2011 – through no planning from myself

1. Your Mummy is not light on her feet. Nor is she as light as a feather. Therefore if you bash into her the chances are high that you will suffer also. Shouting “out the way mummy!” 20s before careering into the back of her, whilst you are both on ice skates will not prevent the inevitable fall ontop of you, dead weight!

2. Saying “Mummy I like you face without makes ups, it is not scary!” Will illicit squeals of delight and lots of embarrassing hugs, for a longer time period than you will probably want.

3. Telling Mummy that she is much more squashy than a pillow and therefore more comfortable, will not necessarily illicit such large squeals of delight, but will certainly be taken in the spirit that it was intended!

 4. Skateboarding on laminate floor (not in my care!) inside a room full of furniture will end in disaster.

5. Being able to not wee on the toilet or the floor just once does not make up for all the times you “forget” past or future! No matter how many times you remind me!

6. Telling everyone within a 50m radius “Mummy you really need to wax your legs!” is not going to further your chances of getting to visit the pick ‘n’ Mix counter on the way home.

7. Falling over more than being upright and still trying to skate on ice until you are exhausted, has made me the proudest Mummy in the world ever!

8. Despite me waking you at 11pm every night to lift you to the toilet, you still tell me you love me every time before snuggling into my comfy places (see point 3). This will always make me cry and always will.

And what has my learning been? That however tough it gets, I am surrounded by unchallenging love that knows no boundaries and has no demands – and that is pretty special. Oh and I need to wear less make ups, wax my legs more and get quicker on the ice!!

An everything pie

January 18, 2011

I have always had the same routine for bedtime with my son. The main aspect being reading him 1 or 2 stories before he goes to sleep. I’ve done it since he was about 6months old and the routine has worked, wherever we are, stories cuddled up in bed mean time for a sleepy. How long this will last I am not sure, but I hope it is for a long time to come.

Anyway last night we read a Mr Men story – called Mr Happy and the Wizard hat. It is one of the new generation of Mr Men books that include other Mr Men within the story and another character central to the plot. Anyway, Mr Happy finds the wizards spell book and hat in a library and returns them – meeting a variety of Mr Men along the way. As a thank you for returning his book and hat, the wizard cooks Mr Happy an everything pie.

It gave me an idea – what if life was an everything pie? All of a sudden you are in realms of how to make a pie? What ingredients to use; the quality of those ingredients; when it is made; temperature of the oven; who you impart the successful recipe to; how many pies you have to make before you have the perfect recipe; whose advice you ask along the way, would make some really interesting conversations and thought provoking recipes.  Then I thought what if you just bought an off the shelf pie? Now that brings with it all sorts of presumptions and pre-made decisions that you have no influence over. There are things you can influence however, the price you pay; if you follow the cooking instructions; what accompaniments you serve with it; who you share it with; whether you recommend it to someone else.

There are pros and cons to both options and time could easily become a deciding factor. My point is though trying to enjoy a slice of life from an off the shelf pie may well produce instant gratification but will you be able to re-create it and how long does it last? Putting the initial effort and time into your own recipe, although a longer process with more risks of failure, could mean you ultimately end up with your own everything pie, that satisfies your needs long term and some of those others around you.

The cynic in me says (and my cellulite bears witness to) the fact that actually I just like eating pies!

Keeping it simple & smiley

January 7, 2011

Trying to keep everything simple has served me well over the last couple of years – accept; learn; smile; move forwards. Anything more complicated seems like a bit of a waste of energy.  There will always be situations that you can’t apply that logic to, but in the main it has served me well. These are the main things I have accepted over the last couple of years– read into them what you will.

Believe what they have to believe – there are always people who have to believe what makes them feel best. This can lead to an unbelievable ability to blank the truth – I have done it myself & I do think it is a particularly well developed female skill – although I can evidence it from males also! Black is white in this scenario – it absolutely is!

Medication does help – but you have to be resolute that it is not the long term answer. It gets you over the really bad stuff, but negates your ability to deal with things in the long term. Although what I have learnt is when you do decide to come off it, do it with medical supervision & not cold turkey!

People can surprise you – I have been lucky enough to continue meeting an eclectic mix of people. I am fortunate that some of them have now become an integral part of my future life.  Some of them have just accepted me for who I am – I am still amazed at that!

Being yourself is actually quite difficult – when you have spent a long-time (years) trying to be something that you aren’t really, being yourself can prove quite an uphill battle. Simple things like taste in music; dress sense; hobbies can all of a sudden be a bit of a challenge because you have the freedom to choose yourself!  Reverting to my preferred choice of black on black, is not everyone’s up of tea – but certainly makes me feel better!

Does it really matter (& will it) ? – I have battled over alot of things that I really though mattered over the last couple of years. The reality is that the majority of them haven’t mattered at all. In fact some of the less important things at the time, were really important in the future. Just asking myself the question before plunging into the abyss of resolution, has stopped lots of pointless angst.

Friendships can’t be one sided – don’t waste energy trying to make them work if they don’t.  But for those that do, make a real effort in everyway – they are vital to survival.   

All these things have made me smile, eventually! & I am determined to keep going & smiling in 2011.