Keeping it simple & smiley

Trying to keep everything simple has served me well over the last couple of years – accept; learn; smile; move forwards. Anything more complicated seems like a bit of a waste of energy.  There will always be situations that you can’t apply that logic to, but in the main it has served me well. These are the main things I have accepted over the last couple of years– read into them what you will.

Believe what they have to believe – there are always people who have to believe what makes them feel best. This can lead to an unbelievable ability to blank the truth – I have done it myself & I do think it is a particularly well developed female skill – although I can evidence it from males also! Black is white in this scenario – it absolutely is!

Medication does help – but you have to be resolute that it is not the long term answer. It gets you over the really bad stuff, but negates your ability to deal with things in the long term. Although what I have learnt is when you do decide to come off it, do it with medical supervision & not cold turkey!

People can surprise you – I have been lucky enough to continue meeting an eclectic mix of people. I am fortunate that some of them have now become an integral part of my future life.  Some of them have just accepted me for who I am – I am still amazed at that!

Being yourself is actually quite difficult – when you have spent a long-time (years) trying to be something that you aren’t really, being yourself can prove quite an uphill battle. Simple things like taste in music; dress sense; hobbies can all of a sudden be a bit of a challenge because you have the freedom to choose yourself!  Reverting to my preferred choice of black on black, is not everyone’s up of tea – but certainly makes me feel better!

Does it really matter (& will it) ? – I have battled over alot of things that I really though mattered over the last couple of years. The reality is that the majority of them haven’t mattered at all. In fact some of the less important things at the time, were really important in the future. Just asking myself the question before plunging into the abyss of resolution, has stopped lots of pointless angst.

Friendships can’t be one sided – don’t waste energy trying to make them work if they don’t.  But for those that do, make a real effort in everyway – they are vital to survival.   

All these things have made me smile, eventually! & I am determined to keep going & smiling in 2011.


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