It shouldn’t be this hard?

I am writing alot more on my blog, for that I have to thank the community of bloggers & those I have met through twitter. They have been really encouraging and positive. Consequently  I am finding it all very cathartic & it’s a positive move.

My last few blogs have been fairly positive, focusing on moving forwards. I’m sorry to say this last week has been rubbish. There is no other way to describe it! & I am struggling.

My situation at work has become energy sapping everyday. I am trying so hard to be positive & it is draining. But I have carried on, focused on the positive & kept going. I was supposed to be on holiday the week before. I spent the week on the phone; emails; taking solicitors calls; networking to try and protect our future – exhausting.

So to this week – I came back with a chest infection that has now become an ear infection. I had no voice (yes a blessing to some) & now I can’t hear or walk in a straight line. Our landlord has now decided to sell the apartment we live in, no huge deal within the current mele, except he expects us to move out for a few days here and there so he can show people around and have open house days! Plus we have to allow a stylist into the apartment to move all our belongings around to suit how they want to market the property!

Last night the shower flooded the whole bathroom – I have been asking said landlord to fix the small leak from the base of the shower unit for weeks – it finally gave up last night!

To add final insult to injury the handbrake failed on the car today. Parked on the hill that is our drive I got out to adjust my sons seatbelt; handbrake failed; car starts rolling; instinctively I try to jump into car; slip on ice under car; which fortunately is stopped by the garage door. My son was distraught I was in agony couldnt get out from under the car. Several neighbours just walked past, my son ran to knock on doors, nothing! (Culturally they really do not do help here). I stupidly then decide to move the car, which is now stuck in ice- slip on ice further & damage myself more! Idiot!!

I am dosed up on whatever painkillers I could find; I have eaten a whole tub of B&Js chocolate fudge (not as good as H&D, but better than nothing); and still barfing up a lung with this infection. I have to put on my positive face again tomorrow, for an even tougher week!

I know I have done something really wrong for my life to be such a drama all the time – I wish I knew what it was because I could then genuinely apologise and move on. I really don’t want much – just to have more good days than bad with lots of smiles in bewtween – it really shouldn’t be this hard should it?

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One Response to “It shouldn’t be this hard?”

  1. helloitsgemma Says:

    I was reading your gallery post and then scrolled down and caught up with this. My God! what a flippin week – I would be howling if I was you.
    Keep strong and keep going – it will all get better.
    F***** neighbours that’s madness and really shocking.
    really hope things improve.
    big virtual hug and best wishes – I know how hard holding it together at work is when all about feels like an uphill battle. You will get there. X

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